I t's the new comedy show from Channel Five, it begins in a couple of weeks, and it's surely comedy genius! Four female characters, all prostitutes, and all - naturally, this being a comedy - happy hookers, hoofing it up and uttering deathless quips about blowjobs.
There's Maureen, the ageing madame, who offers such comedy lines as "less gabble, more gobble" and whose catchphrase - hilariously - is, "But I'm only 27! You guessed it: her shoe collection! Then, because in this day and age you gotta have an eastern European prostitute too, there's Yelena, the haughty, though permanently willing Serbian, who struts around like Ivana Humpalot in the Austin Powers films, throwing out immortal lines such as "Men are like cashpoints with cocks.
I milk them and then I buy beautiful things. And then, in case your sides haven't ruptured yet, why not make the central character a sweet, shy, middle-class man called Michael who's driven into Hayley's arms by his whining, whingeing wife, who's more concerned with walnut worktops than with servicing her beloved?
The least sexually predatory character in TV - possibly fiction - history, Michael professes his love for Hayley by the end of the first episode, but, even by the end of the third episode, hasn't slept with her. This is because, you understand, he's extremely caring and loving, and just really misunderstood by his appalling bitch of a wife. Sounds appealing? Well, you'll soon be able to decide for yourself when Five screens the sitcom, called Respectable.
Having watched the first three episodes, and emerged thoroughly depressed and not just for political reasons; this is one of the direst pieces of comedy writing in history , there's a part of me that just wants to ignore the show entirely. It surely can't last more than a few weeks. Its arrival on our screens, however, coincides almost exactly with the publication of the Belle de Jour sequel - a book based on the supposed blog of a Bridget Jones-esque high-class British prostitute.
