What The Crown does not account for, however, is an answer to the single simplest question that every executive should ask before awarding a six-season green light: Literally, who asked for this? Queen Elizabeth — bless her heart, queen of corgis and hats that will one day belong to Pharrell — is a famous person, but this does not make her an interesting person.
The lives of monarchs are boring, at least when those monarchs take up the requisite duties that are passed to them along with the crown. Who wants to watch Queen Elizabeth take meetings and discuss Parliament and keep up diplomatic appearances?
Or better yet, the Daily Mail could keep you drowning in wall-to-wall year-round royal coverage from now until the day you die without ever having to pay for a Netflix subscription.
But even more importantly, if I must watch royals, then by god, let them be slutty. It is this sacred rule that is most egregiously ignored by The Crown — these royals are not at all slutty. Prince Philip is still alive! At least in entertainment, true nobility is a slutty royal and real royalty is a noble slut.
This is why there are 17 scripted TV versions of the rise and fall of the Borgias. This is why The Tudors somehow got four seasons despite a total lack of any human being who would admit to watching that show in public. Absolutely not.
